ARCANE NIGHTS

I keep having a recurring dream. In it, I'm being introduced to a new spirit guide. She's tall, dark and mystical. As I stand there, listening for wisdom, she smiles and moves her hands gracefully. Sparks appear at her fingertips; there are pops and ticks, flashes and a glow. I see nothing and yet, I know she's created something. And then she tells me in a lyrical voice: "Words are magic. Be a magician."

It's been a couple of weeks since I practiced writing magic. I'm rusty and I have a hard time starting. I think, on occasion, I need a wand--perhaps a crooked twig of oak--imbued with word enchantments. Old words, words filled with texture, words of truth and fortune telling. Words that have never been written, words that exist on the cusp of reality. This dream tells me to look into the part of me I avoid because within this graveled and muddied place, I keep a space for my fear. It's a vile landscape, one I tread with trepidation. I'm not a martyr and I know it. That knowledge in itself, inks my courage.

I wonder about taking chances with sentences that are sure to ignite the petulant ardor of the self-righteous. I wonder if I should outsource my words in whispers like some cranky Human Resources worker and segregate them into an unknown country. Perhaps I should I hide behind my magic like an alchemist who secretly searches for the right combination of mercury and lead to create gold. I worry about announcing my thoughts of late.

Maybe as I grow older, I grow more reticent or hopefully, more sagacious in the ways of the universe. I should be staunch with my verbs, brave with my nouns, particular with my adjectives. I think I should feel compelled to write about society, about the inevitable whiplash of government decisions, the anger over terrorism, and the deceit and debauchery of politicians whose hubris knows no bounds. But then I think--do I care? Does anyone care?

A good fantasy writer will tell you that to create magic, the magician must pay a price. Magic--price. Words--magic--price. That's an awful lot to get from a dream. Don't you think?